Expert Accessibility Styling Tips: February 14, 2007

Weekly Styling Tips Blogger, Robert Florio, this week made it known that he's sick of games being so inaccessible that he'd like some people to play games according to HIS rules! Florio said at a press conference earlier this week:

"Games should have an option called "gamers with limited function assistance." Here's something that's sure to raise some eyebrows: This It's automatically on when the game starts and you must turn it off to enter non-assistive mode. That way it eliminates the quadriplegic gamer to have to use more steps to activate the mode that they need -- it starts up immediately."

Editor's Note: Our readers have written tons of letters full of praise but many full of ire. One person (Who was it? Industry insiders say it might have been none other than Oscar Nominee Helen Miron) called us up and was quoted as saying "Why should WE have to change the mode when we don't need it in the first place? Isn't there some 'in between?' That would be a lot less annoying for a hard core gamer like me!" (Hello? Microsoft Clippy, anyone?)

Meow. Helen, Helen, Helen...don't you see the irony?

Meet a Judge: Richard Van Tol

Coming soon...

News from the Road: February 12, 2007

When word got out that "Slecht Stukje" (that strange Dutch term Judge Richard Van Tol's people used the other day meant, basically, the crap that falls out of the pan when you are cooking something (the Dutch, it seems, don't believe in the 3 second rule...).

Patrons of the Nashville coffee shop that Keith Urban and Nicole Kidman frequent, other much less famous patrons reported to us that this time it was Nicole consoling Michelle, who was just released from the hospital (again) with "exhaustion."

Nicole, trying to get past the paparazzi after their coffee chat, just stopped and said "You know? Michelle is one of the bravest women I know and your constant stalking of shows that you have absolutely no respect for the craft of accessible game design. At Michelle's urging, I am now considering a role in a -- as yet unnamed -- accessible game project. For Richard to have been so crass as to suggest that Michelle is merely a flash "out of" the pan insults all women in gaming"

Cafe barista, Joan Landser, overheard Michelle talking on her mobile (Was it to Matthew McConaughey?) saying: "Nicole is my rock."

Meet an Announcer: Frank Cabanski

A Hollywood outsider, Frank was black listed after his now infamous dispute with Fabio, who claimed Frank's longer and more luxuriant hair (a style he still wears) was infringing on the famous model's image. Thanks to the encouragement of friends and family, often expressed as "will you please shut up," Frank resurrected his career as an emcee. Frank, and his fabulous hair, will be on hand as a studio announcer. Feel free to tip him, as he's earning minimum wage driving the Accessibility Idol set
around the country in a rented truck.

Oh that Frank -- we can never tell when he's kidding. But insider scoop from the AI studio suggests that the network suits are getting annoyed by continuing to bad mouth AI with talk of his pay. IGDA TV Network Exec Jason Della Rocca was quoted as saying "This is just the typical posturing we've come to expect from Frank -- now it's Frank...then it will be Robert...next thing you know? We have to shut the show down because we can't pay their outrageous weekly salary demands." Could Frank find himself replaced by Paula Abdul...crazier things have happened in the reality TV world!

News from the Road: February 9, 2007

What's this we hear? More troubles on the AI set, it seems, as Richard Van Tol is moved from co-host to...co-judge? That's right! Having had it with Michelle Hinn's diva antics all season, Richard threatened to walk away from AI altogether! Luckily, fellow Dutchman Eelke Folmer was there to smooth things over and convince the producers to make Van Tol a judge! Don't quote us on this but was this a move to reduce or INCREASE on set tension as Host Michelle Hinn battles it out with new Judge Richard Van Tol? Van Tol's publicity manager was quoted as saying "slecht stukje." At press time we have not yet received the Dutch translation.

Representatives for Hinn were unable to be reached for comment.

Meet a Judge: Eelke Folmer

Despite Al gore getting all the credit for inventing the Internet (I thought it was "Internets" now?) it was actually Eelke Folmer who captured this entity deep in the dark jungle of the Congo (circa 1980) and made it into what it is today. He also discovered Michelle Hinn living there amongst a tribe of monkeys (which explains her red hair & her craving for banana's) and brought her back to society.

Eelke's other notable achievements include: counting towards infinity and back (twice in '82 & ' 85) using only three coconuts and a carton of milk. After going literally crazy trying to divide by zero with a pair of mangos in 1987, he has been locked up in a mental hospital since and only released recently..... to be a judge on accessibility idol.

Editor's Note: Audience should be aware of additional security at the AI session. Should you see Eelke make any sudden moves, please stand on your chair and shout "there are no more pickles!" This will alert security to a potential problem and will promptly excort you out of the session to help maintain Eelke's grasp on reality.

Photos: Unavailable at this time. We didn't have a lens big enough to capture this 12 foot 8 Dutchboy.

Expert Accessibility Styling Tips: February 7, 2007

More Videos!!

There is a new video of quad controller game play, this time with Tomb Raider: Legends

• Video of Tomb Raider played using a Quad Controller
  

[Modelled by Robert Florio]

Meet a Contestant: Ellen Guon Beeman

Ellen Guon Beeman, Lead Program Manager (Executive Producer)

Build 1600.03.08.2007.

Copyright @ 2006-2007 Microsoft Casual Games.

All rights reserved.

WARNING: Unauthorized reproduction or distribution of this Executive Producer, or any portion of her, is protected by copyright law and international treaties.

This product is licensed to Michelle Hinn.

Abort, Retry, Fail? That's what Paris Hilton had to say about that after a heated whispered exchange with one of her entourage.