Meet a Contestant: Ernest Adams

Long a game industry byword for debauched and abusive behavior, Ernest Adams has at last decided to abandon his drug-fueled three-in-a-bed romps with nubile E3 booth babes and make something useful of his life. "The arrests, the lawsuits, the LSD flashbacks...it was all starting to slow me down," Adams confided to our correspondent. "And besides, E3 is gone now. So I thought, hell, I might as well do a little game design work. Accessibility is a new field for me, and I'm really looking forward to the contest."

But word on the street tells us that something else is going on! Backstage whispers tell us that Accessibility Idol impresario Michelle Hinn has ordered up extra security staff and installed a cut-off into Adams' microphone as a precaution. "If that little creep calls me a 'saucy baggage' one more time," she reportedly raged to Idol staffers, "I'm going to shove this trophy right..." The remainder of Hinn's remarks are unfit for publication in our friendly family tabloid.

In other news...Style staffers have noted that this year's GDC celeb swag bag will contain Swarovski-encrusted Nintendo Wii Controllers and...get this...wigs. That's right...wigs. According to our sources, game devs really like to change their hair colors at a moment's notice and IGDA's Jason Della Rocca told us "As an industry we've been worried about the damage that all this hair coloring is doing to everyone's hair." (Psst...anyone remember AI Judge Reid Kimball's fushia hair with platinum silver streaks at the GDC Booth Crawl immediately followed by a mauve "accident" color that did not match his mobile phone AT ALL!) Della Rocca followed by saying that thanks to the generous donations that poured in after the recent "save their hair" telethon, everyone will have their choice of 14 different wigs hand-selected by our stylists to match the personality of all the developers. All wigs will be auctioned off by Christie's after the conference because who wants to be caught in the same hair color twice?